One Flesh

Matthew 19:6 “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no man separate.”


One flesh...what does that mean? Well two becoming one. This does not mean you lose your individuality. But it means you and your husband operate as one unit. Greater even than a team. 


But as many of you know who are married, this type of thing doesn't happen over night. You become a team long before you get married, but becoming one flesh - greater than a team or even a unit - takes a lot more. The one flesh comes from intimacy. And a large part of that is physical intimacy. 


Let's talk chemistry. No I'm not talking about how you and your husband makes eyes at each other, but I am talking about the chemical reactions that happen as a result of it. When you see your husband come in the door after a hard day it starts the flow of dopamine which in turn triggers secretion of oxytocin. The more you touch on another, holding hands, brushes against the arms, the more oxytocin you secrete. And as you step up the touching, and coitus, the oxytocin secretion approaches a climax and you achieve orgasm. 


For women, the oxytocin sedates you as well. Making you want to cuddle up and go to sleep. And even though many women will claim they could forgo sex, having sex on a regular basis increases the level of endorphins. Endorphins makes us feel loved, secure, happy. It also makes you feel connected to your spouse...one flesh. 


There are many psychological, spiritual, and practical situations regarding the concept of one flesh, the most rudimentary is the basic practice of literally becoming one flesh. God made our bodies so beautifully for all of this to happen. He built in physical bonding methods to help build the infrastructure to keep couples together. 


Sometimes when woman are having issues being intimate with their husbands it is because their bodies are not creating dopamine like it should. I'm not talking about you want to have sex and you are attracted but you have issues once you are in the moment. I'm talking about you have no desire. You have no drive. You are comfortable going to bed every night not touching. In this case, you should speak to your doctor. It could be as easy as taking a little medication everyday to enjoy that desire you had when you first got married. 


Remember, we are beautifully and wonderfully made! Enjoy each other!